Sometimes they get the best of you and sometimes you the best of them...
Yah, so I visited all of the famous mosques, toured the palace, bartered in the grand bizarre, and took a boat across the Bosporus to Asia, but I don't think anybody wants to hear the play-by-play of my weekend. So what I will tell you about is the top two highlights on my two-day turbo tour of Istanbul.
1. Sometimes they get the best of you...
It's true that you don't have to work very hard to get ripped off in Turkey. But I like to think of myself as somewhat of a wise, seasoned traveller who's paid his dues and learned a lesson or two- I mean, shit, I've got a whole drawer full of broken Rolax watches and Ray Brand sunglasses. So, I was walking along the Golden Horn (Istanbul's harbour) minding my own business and rocking out to a little crazy poker when the shoe-shine man walking in front of me drops his shoe-shoe brush. Being a good lad, I picked it up and jogged up to him with a little, "here you go my friend." (everybody is "my friend" in Turkey). To show his sincere gratitude, the man offers to shine my worn-out, soon-to-be-trash New Balance sneakers. While he went to town with his little toothbrush he asked if I had kids. "Not that I'm aware of" I responded (he didn't think that was funny). He did however proceed to tell me of this wife, step-mother, and eighteen blind children. How could I possibly accept a free shoe-shine after hearing that... ahh there's the rub! I offered him all of the change I had pocket- about 10 lira or 6 bucks. "No, paper he insisted." The man was looking for bills. Keep in mind he could have bought Kebabs for his wife, step-mother, and seven of his eighteen blind children for 10 lira. I quickly realised that while accepting my "free shoe-shine" I had been surrounded by 4 other members of the shoe-shine mafia and my New Balance sneakers were quickly about to double in value...
2. Sometimes you get the best of them...
On a wise man's recommendation, I spent an afternoon at Cemberlitas Hamam. With no idea what to expect- I stripped down, threw on my loin cloth, and joined the 30 other sweaty naked dudes in the 400 year old steam chamber. Let me stress that I had no idea what to do, so I followed the lead from a few other guys and laid out on the massive marble slab in the middle of the room. As I was about to fall asleep, a gigantic hairy man grabbed my ankle and pulled me over to edge of the platform where he proceeded to scrub my skin off with soap and steal-woolish pad. Ten minutes later- after having 3 layers of skin removed (head to toe) and feeling exfoliated as hell- I used a bucket to rinse the soap off and followed my new friend in the adjacent chamber... Had it not been for the constant pain, I might have felt slightly awkward about the semi-erotic beat-down I received there. When it was over I returned to my private dressing chamber to decompress and reflect... I left the bath house a new man and feeling like a million lira.
Such are the Turks... honest folk trying to make a living (some more honest than others). A would-have-been travel companion declined the opportunity to accompany me on this weekend adventure believing that Turkey is too dangerous- I found this to be ridiculous before and even more so after. I found the people to be delightfully friendly and I left Istanbul with a affirmed love of the Turks and a acute case of Cholera.
Yah, so I visited all of the famous mosques, toured the palace, bartered in the grand bizarre, and took a boat across the Bosporus to Asia, but I don't think anybody wants to hear the play-by-play of my weekend. So what I will tell you about is the top two highlights on my two-day turbo tour of Istanbul.
1. Sometimes they get the best of you...
It's true that you don't have to work very hard to get ripped off in Turkey. But I like to think of myself as somewhat of a wise, seasoned traveller who's paid his dues and learned a lesson or two- I mean, shit, I've got a whole drawer full of broken Rolax watches and Ray Brand sunglasses. So, I was walking along the Golden Horn (Istanbul's harbour) minding my own business and rocking out to a little crazy poker when the shoe-shine man walking in front of me drops his shoe-shoe brush. Being a good lad, I picked it up and jogged up to him with a little, "here you go my friend." (everybody is "my friend" in Turkey). To show his sincere gratitude, the man offers to shine my worn-out, soon-to-be-trash New Balance sneakers. While he went to town with his little toothbrush he asked if I had kids. "Not that I'm aware of" I responded (he didn't think that was funny). He did however proceed to tell me of this wife, step-mother, and eighteen blind children. How could I possibly accept a free shoe-shine after hearing that... ahh there's the rub! I offered him all of the change I had pocket- about 10 lira or 6 bucks. "No, paper he insisted." The man was looking for bills. Keep in mind he could have bought Kebabs for his wife, step-mother, and seven of his eighteen blind children for 10 lira. I quickly realised that while accepting my "free shoe-shine" I had been surrounded by 4 other members of the shoe-shine mafia and my New Balance sneakers were quickly about to double in value...
2. Sometimes you get the best of them...
On a wise man's recommendation, I spent an afternoon at Cemberlitas Hamam. With no idea what to expect- I stripped down, threw on my loin cloth, and joined the 30 other sweaty naked dudes in the 400 year old steam chamber. Let me stress that I had no idea what to do, so I followed the lead from a few other guys and laid out on the massive marble slab in the middle of the room. As I was about to fall asleep, a gigantic hairy man grabbed my ankle and pulled me over to edge of the platform where he proceeded to scrub my skin off with soap and steal-woolish pad. Ten minutes later- after having 3 layers of skin removed (head to toe) and feeling exfoliated as hell- I used a bucket to rinse the soap off and followed my new friend in the adjacent chamber... Had it not been for the constant pain, I might have felt slightly awkward about the semi-erotic beat-down I received there. When it was over I returned to my private dressing chamber to decompress and reflect... I left the bath house a new man and feeling like a million lira.
Such are the Turks... honest folk trying to make a living (some more honest than others). A would-have-been travel companion declined the opportunity to accompany me on this weekend adventure believing that Turkey is too dangerous- I found this to be ridiculous before and even more so after. I found the people to be delightfully friendly and I left Istanbul with a affirmed love of the Turks and a acute case of Cholera.
Was showering with other dudes pretty similar to Delta Chi?
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